What does the Quran say about husband and wife?
The Qur'an recommends that wives be obedient and adaptable to their husbands. Wives should also keep the secrets of their husbands and protect their honor and integrity.
How a husband should treat his wife in Islam?
A husband is commanded by the law of Allah to treat his wife with equity, to respect her feelings, and show her kindness and consideration, especially if he has any other wife. Nevertheless, the man may not be able to be fair and just in terms of love.
1. Husbands are the Guardian of their Families
Woman and man are the wheels that make a vehicle work – however, men are given a larger portion of qualities that make them stronger in terms of guarding their families:
“Men are the maintainers of women, because Allah has made some of them to excel others…” (surah-nisa:34).
Islam has given men the responsibility of supporting their women and their families.
2. Be More Loving and Caring To Your Wife
A man should understand that the woman he marries also has her own rights and desires towards her life, freedom, and expectations from his husband – she must not be taken as a servant. Therefore, it is important that he meets the requirements of his wife, while a wife meets her set of requirements.
Islam values the sacrifices women make and therefore, Allah blesses love between married couples for the betterment of their life:
“.. And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (surah-rum:21)
Prophet Mohammad (ﷺ) said,
"The more one becomes faithful the more one expresses kindness to his spouse. ’’
“The words of a man who tells his wife, ‘I love you truly’, should never leave her heart. ”
Islam strictly forbids the beating of wife, while our culture continues to abuse women physically and mentally. On the other hand, even looking at each other with love brings blessings and joy to the relationship.
3. Being There For Wife during Pregnancy
There is no argument on how modern-age men sometimes disregard the importance and pain during pregnancy and treat it as an “ordinary” condition. However, Islam has given great significance to this matter as well.
According to Imam as-Sadiq (AS), “The food of a fetus, is provided by the nourishment that the mother receives” – and this nourishment is provided by the husband.
During this sensitive matter, it is not just a test for the wife alone, but also for the husband as they will be giving birth to their future generation.
It is your right to help your wife as well as an act of kindness.
Prophet (ﷺ) said,
“The best of men is one who treats his wife well and I, amongst you, am the best man with regard to the good treatment of my wife ”
He (ﷺ) also said,
“The best of you is the one who is better towards his family, and I am to my family the best among all ”
Rights of the Husband Over the Wife :
Obedience: In Islam, a wife is required to obey her husband in matters that do not involve disobeying Allah. This concept is totally alien to many Westerners, so please understand it well. In the West, they call this 'control' and sometimes 'emotional abuse'. It is neither. A few important points must be kept in mind.
Wife must obey her husband in obedience to Allah. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, 'If a woman offers her five daily prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her on the Day of Judgment, "Enter through any gate of Paradise you wish."' (Ibn Hibban)
Wife obeying her husband is not like a slave obeying the master! She is a free woman, not a slave. What this means is that her husband can not abuse his authority over his wife and act as a tyrant. He must remember that he is the servant of Allah and will be questioned about how he treats his wife.
A husband must conduct the affairs of his family with mutual consultation with his wife, but in the end, he is the decision-maker and he will be responsible in front of Allah for his decision. A wife should not object to his decision-making authority and recognize that just like every company has a CEO, the "family" is like a company and the husband is its CEO. Remember, the husband has to balance his authority with good treatment that is the wife's right over him.
2. Protecting the Honor & Dignity of the Husband :
She must protect his wealth and children, among other things, in his house. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said, "The wife is the guardian over the house of her husband and his children." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim) She is required to raise his children upon Islamic values.
3. Not Leaving the House Without the Husband's Permission :
The Prophet (ﷺ) said,
"If the wife of any of you should seek permission to go to the mosque, do not prevent her." (Muslim)
This does not mean she has to take his permission every time before she leaves the house, if she is going to the right place, she can go there without permission. But it is good to take permission from your husband.
4. Not Allowing Anyone to Enter His House Without His Permission :
The Prophet (ﷺ) said,
"And your right over them is that they do not allow anyone whom you dislike to sit on your cushion." (Saheeh Muslim)
Once again, what this means is not to let anyone in the house who the husband disapproves of minimize conflict and maintain harmony.
5. Concealing Bedroom Secrets :
Neither spouse should talk about their sex lives with friends and family members. It is considered inappropriate, indecent, and shameful. Both should respect each other's privacy in this regard.
Sexual intercourse is a right they both have over each other. Each spouse has a right to intercourse. Vaginal intercourse is prohibited during a woman's menstrual cycle and post-natal bleeding. Anal intercourse is strictly prohibited in Islam.